Tom Cruise Renounces Scientology; Turns Into Muslim Fundamentalist

Tom Cruise, the largest male field-office attraction in American cinema, that’s, until he lately displayed a wide range of astonishingly off-putting antics, has now taken one other dramatic step in his imaginative quest to end his profession, which was largely based mostly on his once seemingly cute and harmless appeal.

A lot to the dismay of his millions of fans, the film icon has renounced scientology and grow to be a Moslem Fundamentalist.

Troubled by his apparently self-damaging conduct, we have been capable of arrange an interview.

NewsLaugh: You appear to be behaving in quite odd methods recently, Tom. What’s behind all of it?

Cruise: You have no concept what it’s like to all of the sudden end up the preferred film star on the planet when you may’t probably see any reason you’d attain such a pinnacle. So what occurs is you get this actually subliminal need to take yourself down.

NewsLaugh: Oh, in order that’s why you’ve been performing like a jackass?

Cruise: Precisely! I don’t feel I deserve the celebrity, so I’m attempting to destroy my career any means I can.

NewsLaugh: Actually, you’re doing an outstanding job.

Cruise: Effectively, you already know, whatever it takes. At first I attempted simply jumping up and down on Oprah’s sofa and performing loopy in love. However, come on, that was way too candy to do the sort of harm I was hoping to do.

NewsLaugh: So you started to emphasize your strong perception in scientology?

Cruise: Nicely, got here out about it in the most offensive ways I might think of.

NewsLaugh (pointing to his new beard and white turban): Why the Islamic Fundamentalist flip?

Cruise: Glad you asked. My new image, Mission Inconceivable III, opened at $34 million. Of course, it was projected to open at $forty five mil., however $34 mil. is still far more than I deserve. So I decided I had to do something actually radical to finish off my career.

NewsLaugh: You’re actually chose effectively. It could be arduous to think about something that will alienate extra fans.

Cruise: So isn’t it nice? I’m only holding again on one thing. Discover the white turban?

NewsLaugh: It’s just a little hard to miss.

Cruise: Right. I picked it as a result of, as you already know, the great buys at all times wear a white hat. I don’t plan to change to black until I see that I still have some field-office appeal.

NewsLaugh: Why can’t you simply get again to being the great, excitable guy you seemed to be in films like Jerry McGuire? That’s obviously what your followers want.

Cruise: You really assume so?

NewsLaugh: Of course. Is that how they came to know and love you?

Cruise: But, given my current way of thinking, how can I probably do that?

NewsLaugh: True. Hey, just a suggestion, but maybe you need to examine your current state of mind.

Cruise: You suppose so? Well, first let’s examine how the beard and turban thing work out.


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This entry was posted on Sunday, June 6th, 2010 at 5:25 am and is filed under Costumes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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