Advice For Newlyweds – Humor

mortgage refinance My granddaughter got married in Illinois so we hopped in the car and emptied our pocket book at a dozen or so service stations along the way.

I should say “gas” stations as there is no such thing as a service station since the man with the “star” turned in his badge—except in New Jersey and Oregon where it is still civilized.

Twice I decided to put my wife’s handicap tag on the rear view mirror and look forlornly out the window—but nobody volunteered to pump gas for me—and nobody seemed to care that I had about ten zillion bugs on my windshield.

juegos It makes sense because emotions that are distressful, such as anger, depression, stress and anxiety, are related to heart disease. You can’t be angry or anxious if you are having a really good laugh. The University Of Maryland Medical Center did a study that showed that having a good sense of humor during a stressful situation could help the damaging physical effects of distressing emotions. Here are a few things that having a good mirthful laugh will do for you: it will reduce your stress; boost your mood and your immune system. It will lower your blood pressure, improve your brain function, help you become relaxed and make you feel good and protect your heart.

Real Estate God made bugs of mostly waterproof, instant-setting epoxy resin. I always carry a spade in my car for the tough spots. My wife says the scratches the spade makes are worse than the bugs. How could that be?

Having always had a persistence to study nature, I study each squished bug carefully to see if I can add a new species to my “life bug list” which I keep in my glove compartment next to my “life bird list” and my “life rock list.”

We had stopped in the fossil hills of Wyoming to look at past squished critters and I saw that I had an extinct cousin of Dendroctonus ponderosae on my windshield— Dendroctonus ponderosae nowdeadacus—or ancient pine beetle.

I hoped to register this with The World Federation of Extinct Species so they could remove it from their list, but I realized that I would be accused of making the extinction of Dendroctonus ponderosae nowdeadacus final.

Anyway, I could not scrap the bug onto my sticking note, so they would not believe me anyway. Also, the photo I took of the bug was as blurry as the bug.

By the way, did you know that we are losing a number of species of farm animals every year? I read that at: http://www.fao.org/NEWS/2000/001201-e.htm

We got to Newton, Iowa where there was a pre-marriage reception for my granddaughter and the handsome quarterback she had landed. He is the twin of his wide receiver who was married last year and so got ahead of him.

Some of our old Iowa friends were at the reception and we exchanged lies and other success stories. It was very hot in the building and the caterers could hardly keep the punch bowls filled. It was not any cooler in Illinois on the banks of the Mighty Mississippi.

A Story of Many Colors

If you’ve ever been to a mall where there are artists drawing caricatures you can begin to gain an appreciation for humor writing. The stories have their basis in fact, but the story is blown out of proportion in certain areas to accentuate a point of humor. It doesn’t make the story less true, just more entertaining you can be published without charge. You can to republish this article in your website or blog. Please provide links Active.


Related Blogs

 Mail this post

StumbleUpon It!

Technorati Tags: , , ,

Tags: , , ,

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 28th, 2010 at 6:20 am and is filed under Costumes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

«
»